We ALL Belong in the Mountains

I’ve moved more than a few times—not as many as some, but probably more than average. Frankly, I really don't like it. As someone whose core value is community, moving can be jarring. I coach myself through the “opportunities” of each new place. I motivate myself to let the old go and embrace the rebirth of the new. But in the end, it’s just plain hard. Many of my clients also have opportunities for growth in their roles and geographical locations. They too find themselves questioning how they should make the transition.

Sure, we all have stories about hard transitions. But this month, I want to discuss the importance of belonging—and what the absence of it can mean for all of us.

Community Connections

First, a shout-out to two remarkable humans and friends, Shannon and Nikki, co-owners of Drip Culture here in Waitsfield. They re-energized my writing on this topic with a simple conversation at Three Mountain Café and their AMAZING business.

I recently moved to Waitsfield (yes... I moved again—more on that later) to be closer to my partner, Kevin McMillion. We are relaunching the Big Picture Café, Theater, and Community Center. Daily, the questions tug at me: Will I belong? Will I make friends? Where do I fit in? Old triggers surface: Am I enough? Will I find friends? Will people like me? Once again, I find solace in writing and spending time in the mountains.

Waitsfield, Vermont and the Magic of the Valley

Waitsfield was settled in 1793 and named after Benjamin Wait, an early settler. It’s a place woven with art, music, independent shops, and zero stoplights. You’ll find small bakeries, cafés, one post office, two hardware stores, and a yoga studio (Mountain Rose, which I already consider my community!). There are also a few small restaurants and two world-class ski resorts—all held together by one gigantic heart.

The Mad River gently kisses the town center when it stays within its banks. Yet, it roars through the village when it floods, like it did last week. Conversations here rarely start with, “What do you do for work?” Instead, they often begin with, “What do you do for joy?” For me, that’s how I know I’m home. But... do I belong?

The Questions We All Ask

For now, I’m 99.9% anonymous here, even in this small valley. My partner is well-known, but I can still walk through shops and cafés without a single face recognizing mine. I keep wondering: How will I know when I truly belong?

Belonging is peculiar like that. Even in a familiar place, it can feel new and isolating. I’m an eighth-generation Vermonter and used to visit this area as a child—my aunt and uncle have had cabins in East Warren since 1969. My aunt was born here, and her father was a local school principal. Still, I’ve never lived in the Mad River Valley. It has been a generation since I wandered these hills with their eight dogs. By most standards, I’m new.

Shannon and I recently talked about how the Mad River Valley is like an incubator for connection. Maybe all of Vermont could be described that way. The moment I walked into the Big Picture Café, I felt it: A deep knowing that this community would hold me close—just as it does for everyone else.

Why Belonging Matters

Why did walking into this little café result in calming my nervous system so instantly? Science tells us that belonging is vital. It fulfills a fundamental human need, impacting mental and physical health, well-being, and life satisfaction. A strong sense of belonging increases resilience, reduces stress, and gives us a greater sense of purpose. Without it, we can experience loneliness, depression, and even physical health problems.

Remember what COVID did to all of us? Without our usual connections, we became—what my friend Alison Lane calls—“socially feral.” We forgot how to be part of something bigger.

“The need to belong is a fundamental human motivation... People who feel more connected to others have lower levels of anxiety and depression.” — Baumeister & Leary (1995), Psychological Bulletin

This foundational study underscores just how essential belonging is to our emotional and social well-being. It contributes to:

• Reduced stress and anxiety

• Improved resilience

• Higher life satisfaction

• Reduced loneliness and better cardiovascular health

• Greater motivation and creativity

• Increased confidence and self-esteem

• Stronger communities

• Better workplace performance

• Less discrimination and prejudice

  
  

How to Cultivate Belonging

So how do we find belonging, especially in new places or when we feel like we’ve lost it? My first big move after college was to Park City, UT. That’s where I entered the outdoor and ski industry and felt an acute sense of belonging.

When I was 23, I arrived and watched that sleepy ski town grow into a mega-destination that’s still trying to hold onto its soul. As my career in the ski industry grew, I had the opportunity to transfer to Vail, Colorado. That warm, cozy feeling of belonging quickly changed to: Who are my people? Fortunately, I found a community that embraced me. But it wasn’t my home state of Vermont, nor my newly adopted Utah, where I had lived for more than half of my life. Honestly, it wasn’t until I moved back to Vermont in 2019 that I truly found that sense of rootedness again.

Today’s Experience

Fast forward to today: I'm at The Big Picture finalizing this story while our guests raise glasses and share tales. As we opened our doors this Memorial Day weekend, it once again lived up to its nickname as Vermont’s Living Room. Locals and visitors came seeking solace, connection, and the essential feeling of belonging.

As the café, bar, and theater re-opened, I found myself in a conversation with Julie Parker, a Board Member of the Bigger Picture Community Fund. She summarized what the re-opening means to the Mad River Valley: it's simply a place where people from all walks of life feel like they belong.

Tips to Help Cultivate Belonging

• Volunteer – Find a nonprofit that supports a purpose you care about.

• Find a “living room” space – A local coffee shop or hub where people gather. Introduce yourself. Ask questions. Share stories.

• Be open to new experiences – Even ones that stretch your comfort zone.

• Embrace diverse perspectives – You don’t have to agree with everyone to connect.

• Focus on opportunity – Notice what you do like about your new space.

• Explore – Take time to walk your neighborhood and get to know it firsthand.

  
  

No matter where you are in your journey, remember: belonging isn’t just a place—it’s a feeling, a connection, a thread that ties us to each other. Sometimes, all it takes is one open door, one conversation, or one kind smile... to know you’re home.

Explore Your Belonging

Whether you're navigating a new place, a career change, or simply seeking deeper connections in your life, you're not alone.

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Your story matters. You deserve to feel at home in your own life.

xoxox

With Brevity and Belonging

Dana